I struggle with words to explain my time on the farm. An update always seems to involve data, details of events and numbers. An update is a way to make me feel like I’m doing something important. What I really need is a farm journal or a farm haiku, maybe even a farm story.
I started reading Merton’s Seven Storey Mountain again and it put me in my place. There is not room in my faith and my life for obscurity. Obscurity is a curse and a judgment on my existence. I need to be known, not by my Creator, but by you, my reader. Most of what happens on the farm is obscure thankless work. The reality of this has not sunk in yet. I am always looking toward what’s next. What will be the next thing? Of course I am concerned about a job and paying all the bills. I am also too concerned with my own image.
I don’t write stories well. I’m used to research and technical language that makes arguments, references and explanations. But this way of writing misses something. It is not able to capture the layers and complexities of life. So I want to try to write more stories and poems about life on the farm and what I’m learning. This will be a challenge for me, but a good one.